Shut up!

My mother is the most PMS mother i've ever had in the entire world. Of course, i do by all means have only ONE mother. But she is so typical yet sometimes, i wish she is more flexible and open-minded.

She is caring and loving, but way TOO caring and loving. She nags at almost anything that touches her 'negative lines'. Yes. She almost had a fight with my next-door neighbour about their dog.

She takes turn to nag at her children. The first out of the three to accidentally cross over her 'negative lines' will have to endure at least 3 days of constant naggings cum lecture. the lecture will have the following agenda: you don't love mommy anymore, you don't care about me, you are rude and others.

my bro and i are her main targets on marriage lecture. Marriage lecture agenda includes religious talk (loads of No's), her list of rules and regulations, why my bro shouldn't marry this girl/that girl caused of blah blah..., and yes, others.

Tonight, i had one of the worst fight with her. first, she almost argued with next door neighbour about the dog. then she scolded me for meeting my fiancee three days in the row. To her, it seemed bad luck. To me, it is superstitious.

i simply hated it when she started cursing about my future life with my fiancee. She would brat on how relax and religiously-loose we are, thus our future would be a terrible one. Then she would tell me to register my wedding day earlier and get out of her house, the sooner the better.

"Less sin for me to handle" she would say in the end.

"what the fuck?! you are chasing your daughter out? you make me fast-forward my wedding just so you can have less sins on your shoulder?" i shouted in my head.

seriously, something is super wrong with her. being to uptight with the religious rules can destroy the bond of mother and daughter. Especially when the daughter (me) prefers to be herself.

Herself- as in i don't wear headscarf or 'tudung'. i wear whatever suits my mood swing. Oh i forgot to include, she yelled at me for wearing a not-so mini skirt yesterday.

i know that i have to cover up the head. but not now. i don't want to be girls who wear because dear mommies tell me to wear or those who wear in front of their parents but once out of reach, transform into sexy babes.

i simply see no harm in meeting my baby three days in a row. we are usually too pre-occupied with our own work/school schedules that we hardly do meet. this is such a terrible dilemma for me.

just when i thought my day was a good one...

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to mommy (as if she reads this),

please do shut up. stop cursing me. stop cursing my future life with baby. my time and your time is super far different. can't expect me to behave like you do when you are in your twenties. the stupid outburst makes me super mad (like in pyscho) and heart break.

i know your intention is good but it is really killing me inside. i am like trying so hard to be your perfect daughter but NOT that perfect when in terms of my dressing. Stop judging people from what they wear. Stop!

One more time you pick on me regarding the same matter, i might just scream (like kena sampuk). i may write a drama script on you. yes. disheartening, yes but that might takes me off my pressure level.

sorry. peace.

from your not-so-perfect-moulded daughter.